Which criminal am I at the side of Jesus?
Am I the one who taunts Him and joins the crowd?
Or am I the one with total awe and reverence to Him, my Lord? Saviour.
I’d like to think that I’m the latter of the two. But I can’t deny that I was the former at one point in life. There was a time I thought that He was silly. Non existent. Crazy to be God. A liar. I was a skeptic. But part of me lingered onto the hope that there was a God. That there is a God.
And so I found that to be true. And it was a life saving truth. A truth so unshakable. A firm foundation that will never crumble.
When I think of life before and after Christ, there isn’t any decision I would take back. Following Jesus, God. Loving them, caused me so much grief, heart break, doubt. But I would live it again a thousand times again because He was worth the pain. Everything I’ve been through is nothing compared to the love He had as He died on the cross for me.
One of the things I realize, is that even if I am emotional and so cry a lot during worship, I never want to lose that. I never want it to be normal. I never want Jesus dying for me to be something that’s expected. That it’s whatever. I don’t want to be comfortable in my faith or love for God. I always want His love for me to bring me to tears. His sacrifice for me to bring me to tears. It’s a feeling of love and thankfulness that I never want to go away. Because God’s love is so great and I forever want to be surprised at how much he loves and cares for me. His sacrifice for me will never be normal or just a fact. But a truth that will always take me aback.